experience is learning me that neither casinos nor boxing matches are as glorious as they’re hyped to be.

this morning in southwest florida is cool and grey. i’ve killed my hydroponic basil, mostly, so i took it to the lanai this morning to see if it wasn’t the indoor environment that was making it die. the smell of the air is the very same smell i’ve had lodged in the back of my head since i was a little girl. it’s a round green smell, slightly salty and sandy, with some dirt. despite the sounds of the morning, it’s very still outside. these are the mornings when the sun rises and with honors burns away the fog and damp and quiet.

contemplating the holidays and bgap and work and my hormones. i want more money to buy presents. i haven’t been nearly as diligent with bgap these last weeks as i feel i ought to be. i enjoy the npo i’m working for this month. and as nature courses forward, my shifting hormones drive me closer to defensiveness, argumentation, and outright shithead-dom.

my dreams at night are fraught with challenges and difficulties and surprises, making my nights fitful to the observer and restless upon waking. this change has occurred in the last week, and i’m not really sure what has brought all of this on.

deep, bitter coffee and cool breezes are a great way to begin the day.

13/12/06