a little after one in the afternoon saturday, tim and i were skimming the surface of the Myakka River in a bright yellow, tandem kayak. i watched the paddles dip rhythmically into the brown, opaque water, thrilled to be under the tropical sun in keene flip flops and a bathing suit top. i had skimmed the bottom of the boat rental form, fixing on the do’s and don’ts of alligator etiquette, and felt relieved enough that if i didn’t throw fish bits over the side or entice them in anyway, the alligators would keep a completely acceptable 1000-foot berth from our boat.
ha.
leaving the inlet and entering the great open expanse of the river, we turned the kayak to the right, hugging the marshy shoreline. just tim and me, in a yellow piece of plastic. with ripples beginning to swirl in the water to my immediate left. oh, ha ha, look did you see that? it was a gator! what the hell. for real? like, an alligator right UNDER us? well, that was a fluke! we’ll be unbothered from here out. not effing so. it seemed every pull of the paddle drew us through countless swirls of water, silent signs of countless carnivorous reptiles, swimming languidly beneath us with their countless teeth. that they remained unseen and silent drew the greatest fear in me. tim pointed out a snout maybe 20, 30 feet to our right, and by virtue of being seen and unmoving, i felt relieved. i have a frame of reference for alligators in that context. the you’reoverthereandi’moverhere context. not the you’rerightunderme i think ormaybeyou’retomyleftormaybeyou’reabouttoeattheboat context.
at one point, our little kayak was literally surrounded with swirls of unseen alligators. for an instant, fear gripped me like a panic, threatening total paralysis and quickened breath. i said as much, and was reassured that we’d be fine, just fine, and we paddled on. the farther we drew from where the people were, the less comfortable i became, so we turned around and, keeping a greater distance from the shore, headed toward the thunderstorm that was roiling in the distance. the wind cooling our backs, feeling a little less apprehensive, noting a fisherman wading waist-deep right where we were surrounded, and tim’s explanation of the lazy, non-confrontational manner of these lizards, the huge alligator swimming perpendicular to our course only made us chuckle at the folly of the wilderness.
once the imminent danger of being eaten by alligators became comfortable, our attentions were turned to the deep grey clouds and bright streaks of lightning on the once-distant horizon. so we skimmed our little vessel over the folgers-colored water and found ourselves back on land, unscathed.
and now i never have to do that again.