full moon night

full moon tonight. the kind of moon the clouds bow to in reverie. the kind of moon you kiss goodnight before clicking off the lamp. the last full moon i watched rise over chiang mai from doi suthep, standing next to the tall aussie. tonight i watched it glow in the bright daytime sky before its indigo backdrop fell. now it hovers, pulled in and out of a patchy blanket of clouds.
i drank Bangkok green tea at the bookstore this evening, the smell of rounded coconut, light lemongrass and ginger filled my nose with a scent that carried me back to sukhumvit road in an instant. i feel like i’ve forgotten some of it, not the sights and the sounds, but the expansion of my world has resized itself a little bit. two days ago i sat in front of two computer screens, unable to write or think or do anything. a gnawing hunger inside of me begged to be assuaged, but i knew not how to feed it. it was a restless tiger, pacing inside of me, fluttering my heart and shutting off cognizant thoughts. i got up and out and found myself having a tea, reading a book, running into friends. the isolation that occurs here in my life is so easy to fall into, it’s so comfortable and terrifying. i feel as though i am often climbing out of a hole in the sand: the more i climb, the more it caves in on me.