36k feet, 2 days left in february

i just got suckered into the time zone difference ruse. forgetting that Houston is in a different time zone from indy, i was fully expecting another 20 minutes of flying before beginning out initial decent. oh no. an hour and 20 minutes. so i write. and contemplate what in the hell exactly is a cream cracker.

i felt much lighter walking down the jetway this afternoon. my entire person: luggage, baggage, self. i attribute this to a number of factors. i saw the chaos of my room and packing evolve into order today: work clothes, play clothes, cute shoes, new clothes, finally make my bed, put away piles of opera cd’s to be heard, and lo! a well-packed suitcase fit for international travel and a clean, orderly room. also, i feel much better. all day long i stress the importance of getting high in healthy ways, yet i feel the void of my own dopamine production. going out last night was really wonderful. actually, yesterday as a whole was really very nice.

i went to west clay for a party at my friends’ house last night. at first i was convinced her home didn’t actually exist, and she was telling me to drive around and around in the dark of Hamilton county at 9:30 on a saturday night because she needed amusement. i eventually found it, and was delighted to meet a mess of wonderful people. every time i approach a social situation, i am thoroughly convinced i will flop, stand in a corner nursing my orangina, not making any friends. i neglect to remember that this is no longer 6th grade, and no one is going to make fun of my vintage 50’s dress. or call me chicken mcnugget. so it was a lot of fun, and i can’t leave out how great it was to see my friend. we left around, what, like 1ish, and headed toward broad ripple, where we shut down opt’s playing pool. i felt so loose, so comfortable, and had a good time. there wasn’t any weird tension or energy, just a group of people hanging out having fun. once the bar closed down, we ended up watching a movie until 6 am. which is, in my opinion, a terrible hour to have to start your car and drive home. i may, though, have a date when i get home from mexico. that would be nice.

my mother called bright and early this morning, as she only does when i’ve been out all night, and swooped by about 9 to take me to breakfast at patachou, my haunt prefere, before i fly out to mexico.

i feel the lightness of being happy. being dour and mopey, stressed and tired is a heavy, condensed soup feeling. i find myself missing most the people who know me and with whom i can be my most effervescent. i enjoy meeting new people now, exploring my own personality in these circumstances, getting to know other people, making small talk, exploring deeper topics while leaning up against a wall listening to the howls and shrieks of dance dance revolution. that is a testament to where i’ve come from since last heartbroken august. my gratitude runs deep, and so does my fatigue. and my sore feet. 4” heels all night. minus a few rounds of ddr.


in puebla currently. it’s beautiful, clear and cold. very fresh and relaxed-feeling, i’m not sure if i’ll get to see a bullfight this week, since they’re usually on friday or sunday, but i’m keeping my fingers crossed.